I have a lot of dreams that are currently works in progress. The biggest of all of these is to be a stay-at-home mom. If you ask me one of the biggest scams in society today is that you work to make money to pay someone to watch your kids. Don’t get me wrong, if you have a desire to work, to get out of the house, to interact with adults, that’s perfectly fine. However, one of my hills to die on is that we would all be a heck of a lot better off if we were raising our own kids instead of trusting the most vulnerable of all to strangers and large groups where one-on-one attention is almost 0. That is a different article for a different day (which can be found here) so I digress for now.

The fact that you are here, reading this article, means that you are at least a little bit curious too! Whether you are actually looking at ways to save money to make it possible to stay home or you are very dedicated to arguing against it and trying to gather information to better form your counter argument, you’re still here. So let us begin!

Now, I would be remiss not to mention that these things need to be done CONTINUOUSLY for them to actually be effective. What I mean is that doing these things for 6 months or a year or 5 years only WILL allow you to stay home. But only for that amount of time. You will only be able to avoid working a paying job (I mean that in the monetary sense of the word) for as long as you have the money saved to do so. Ergo, when those savings run out, you are back where you started. If you truly are looking to raise your children yourself with no side hustle to bring in additional income, it will involve commitment to a lifestyle for the long haul. What you will gain by doing this is the most beautiful, rewarding, stressful experience of watching the day-to-day changes of your babies growing up in front of your eyes.

Their childhood is your motherhood too (not to sound like a cheesy Facebook post or something) and you should enjoy it how you see fit.

Here are 10 maintainable ways to adjust your lifestyle to be able to be a stay-at-home mom.

 

1. Use/eat what you have

This is something that my husband and I struggle with IMMENSELY. We buy more cereal when we still have other kinds left. We don’t check before we go to the store and end up with 2 more cooking sprays in addition to what we already had. We buy chicken when we still have burger in the freezer. Instances like this result in spending more money instead of spreading out the spending.

 

2. Shop deals/bulk

This may seem to counter the above point. I suppose in a way it does a bit. However, if it is going to save you drastically in the long haul, shop the deal now but in moderation. For example, if you are out of frozen broccoli but you still have frozen peas but there is a serious deal going on for frozen broccoli, buy some more now for when you do use all the peas. If you eventually need it, it does not make a ton of sense to pay double the price in two weeks because you have a couple of nights worth of peas left. This is something that is a constant discernment and will vary from person to person on if the benefit outweighs the cost. 

If you find yourself trying to justify the purchase, you don’t need it! Again, something my husband and I are notorious for doing is feeding off each other’s justifications as to why we should treat ourselves or buy something NOW vs saving and getting it later.

One thing I ask myself too that helps is “if this item wasn’t on sale, would I still be willing to pay for it?” Chances are if you aren’t willing to pay full price for it, it’s not something you actually want/need.

Consider buying from Costco or Sam’s Club for things you go through quickly or use a lot of. The wholesale pricing will save you a lot in the long run (especially if they are having a sale on it!) and the benefit outweighs the cost since you know it will get used. One of our favorites is flour or oil.

 

3. Buy second-hand (rummage sales, thrift stores, hand-me-downs)

ESPECIALLY with kids (as most parents know or quickly come to find out) is that they grow fast. If you are blessed enough to live in a village that gives away hand-me-downs like they’re going out of style, don’t feel bad about accepting them!

If hand-me-downs aren’t in your realm of possibilities, utilize garage sales and thrift stores. I know lately thrifting has gotten a bit of a bad rep for being overpriced but, with the writing methods, you can find really good deals.

The fact that kids grow so fast can be used to your advantage since a lot of times the clothes people are selling are barely worn!

 

4. Minimalistic lifestyle

This ties in a bit to buying on sale or in bulk but is important in all aspects of your home. I think it is ridiculous the way society tells us we need more and more of everything (once again, I digress). Multiple this and another pair of that. If you have a water bottle that holds liquid, you don’t need the latest brand. You don’t need a pair of cowboy boots for the one event you’re going to or the trip you’re taking to fit the theme of things (if this example seems a little specific it is because it is one from recently in my own personal life).

You get the point. Wants and needs are very different and, as I mentioned, I will be the first to tell you that you can justify just about any purchase if you try hard enough.

One helpful thing I have started doing with this is sleeping on the idea. Impulse purchases probably make up 80-90% of people’s spending on unnecessary things so, if you go to sleep and wake up still thinking you need something, then you should start weighing the pros and cons.

5 questions to ask yourself to figure out if you should buy something:

1. Do I already have something that does what this [item] does?
2. What benefit is this [item] going to bring to my life?
3. Where is this [item] going to go?
4. Can this [item] be useful in more than one area of my life? (see the boot example above).
5. Am I buying this [item] for me/my family or for other people to see in my life?

 

5. Make it from scratch

This one may be about equal for some things but will be healthier despite that. For example, making your own bread costs about $1.50/loaf, and a loaf at the store is about $1.80 (depending on where you live). While that 30 cents every couple of weeks isn’t going to be what lets you stay home, making all your own bread products could. Or jams. Or pasta. Or cookies. Especially if you are buying in bulk, thus making it even cheaper. Small cuts on many items over a long period of time will make a difference! Especially if you factor in gas from repeated trips to the grocery store and the cost of your time when you could be doing something else (like playing with those kids you are trying so hard to stay home with).

Depending on your abilities, this can apply to non-food items as well. Things like coat hangers (we did those!) or refinishing a table instead of buying a new one (again, consumerism!), or fixing a minor flaw in something vs throwing it out to buy brand new.

 

6. Limit eating/going out

I feel like this is a hot topic for some reason that people are often reluctant to give up. However, it ties into the very first thing on here (use what you have). Why go out for a $15 burger when you have hamburgers in the basement? Oh, you’re craving McDonald’s fries for the 3rd night this week? Spend $4 and buy a 10-pound bag of potatoes and make them yourself! Then you’ll have fries coming out of your ears!

Again, you can justify just about anything and I am a firm believer that there is always something to celebrate with drinks or ice cream or another expense. You don’t have to be shut-ins but you can find cheap or free entertainment activities and make your own fun with things you already have!

 

ADDITIONALLY

Utilize FREE entertainment! A lot of library has passes you can check out to parks or zoos as well as movies you can rent. Why pay for 6 streaming services and pay to have your food or groceries delivered or pay for amusement parks when you could find a FREE alternative to these recurring or hefty costs?

 

7. Budget (and stick to it!)

If you tell yourself you’re only going to spend $40 this month on gas, unless absolutely necessary, do that! If you tell yourself you’re only going to treat yourself to coffee once a month, do that! Don’t waste your time budgeting if you’re not going to listen to it anyway.

Don’t get me wrong, I am well aware that the minute you start to actually make progress on your spending goals your freezer dies and all your meat goes bad or the car needs a repair. Factor that into your monthly savings by utilizing an emergency fund. Or be flexible and cut back on other things for a bit to compensate for that other expense.

 

8. Track spending

My husband and I will often wait (not past the due date) to pay off our credit card. We do this because simply seeing how much of our credit limit is used will deter us from additional spending. This is nice particularly when I make a big purchase for work that I get reimbursed for because we didn’t actually spend that $2,500 but seeing it pending on our card makes us reign it in a bit.

I got an app on my phone to put all our receipts into that will tell me how much we have spent that month. There are versions of these kinds of apps that you can pay for but there are free ones that work just the same (another way to save!).

Again, by seeing that number go up, you can determine where you may need to cut back.

 

9. Plan for big purchases/emergencies

Again I will mention an emergency fund (my husband would be so proud). Having this account with money for 3-6 months’ worth of bills allows those unforeseen expenses to not break all your progress. We utilized ours when our electrical panel went out and again when I took maternity leave (which wasn’t paid so we were without my income for 3 months) or when my husband had to miss work, unpaid because of surgery since he didn’t have enough vacation time. All these things would otherwise have been crisis situations where we would have struggled to pay bills but we were being PROACTIVE!

 

10. Remember your role as a caretaker is WORTH something

Besides the benefit of being the one to raise your own children, your time truly is worth something. In our area, the average cost of daycare is anywhere from $150-$250/week. Not to mention the fact that spots are hard to secure so you can’t necessarily just go with the cheapest option (which, by the way, is a terrible way to choose daycare. That’s not to say the cheapest isn’t the best but I definitely feel for the parents who have to send their kid somewhere they don’t trust simply because they can’t afford anything else).

If you take those cost x50 weeks a year (accounting for the fact that you will get some vacation) and then x by the number of kids you have, you’re “making” at least that much for your family (maybe that’s girl math but you’re SAVING at the very least)! With one kid alone, assuming you are only paying $150 and getting two weeks of vacation, that’s $7,500. If you have two kids, that’s almost $15k! You staying home is not worth nothing. Even if you only look at it from a money standpoint!

 

Despite my optimistic outlook, I am not naive enough to think that couponing and eliminating eating out is going to compensate for your salary. However, these small changes along with serious budgeting and money management will get you off on the right foot!